That bands and artists and to go out into the world to play in front of real people has been going on for quite a while. The fact that older people still do not know how to behave in concert is a mystery to many.
In particular, acoustic concerts a problem, then it would appear that at least 20% of concert audiences only "looking out for a beer a trip to chat with friends."
That they have had to pay £ 150-1000 to get in on the concert does NOT have any impact on behavior.
That there sits an artist on stage with an acoustic guitar and trying to get their message out to the public are also ignored.
The fact that 80% of those in the room standing or sitting and listening to that artist gives no reaction in these barns elves.
Who are these people? What are the warning signs?
We have some simple rules, which are specially designed acoustic and often low-key concerts.
- If you can not text properly, DO NOT sing along.
- If you CAN text, but experience shows that you actually overpower the artist when you sing along, NOT sing along!
- If you CAN text and are impressed with the artist's writing, please do not REPEAT lines of text to your boyfriend after the artist has sung them.
(Cf: the left behind hippie standing next to me on Lars Winnerbäck at Ricks in Bergen Fest 2005)
- If you no longer have glass building block in the shower because they cracked while singing in the shower ... NOT sing along!
- And EVERYTHING in the world, you should NOT under ANY circumstances whistle the tune being played! Unless your name is Atle Antonsen so you sound COMPLETELY miserable. AND you whistling tune. Believe me, even if it sounds good in your head, so it sounds absolutely horrible out for all of us.
- If the artist is trying to tell a story between songs, shut up! It is (mostly) a point in what he is trying to say.
- Whispers? NO good idea. It sounds if possible, even more annoying than someone who talks loud ... think how funny it seems when Homer Simpson tries to whisper ... just the way you sound out. JUST like ...
- If your cell phone rings, do NOT take it! Switch off! You would matter off the phone before the concert started.
If you still need to answer, (it could be your wife tells you that labor has begun?), Go out of the premises. By all means do not talk louder and louder to drown artist .... eventually fail you in fact just that ... (see: Swede who sat next to me on Lars Winnerbäck on Bergenfest2005)
- If large parts of the venue turns at regular intervals and ugly stares at you and / or shush you repeatedly, take a hint and shut up!
If you are so full (or are with someone who is so full) that such hints are not perceived: GO HOME! Or take responsibility and make sure that your all too drunk friend goes home.
- If you are on a their concert, DO NOT stand up all the time.
You irritates when everyone behind you. They also paid to get in, and would rather see the artist can obstruct the view of, than your occipital ...
Overall I can summarize:
If your name is NOT printed on concert tickets or concert poster, then it is a clear sign that you should actually be SILENT while the concert is in progress.
What should the rest of us look for, if we want to try to avoid these people?
Before the concert can take a look at the venue and if you are not assigned permanent seats as one can to some extent avoid Skravlerne by looking for some simple warning signs:
- - Thread of middle-aged women who all sipping his glass of red wine and even before the concert starts have acquired a level that makes them sound all over.
If these besides sitting soaking up stage one as a problem.
(Cf. gang of well drunk, middle-aged ladies who put on the table in front of me at Mary Gauthier at Garage)
- - A full trønder in a group of locals.
This will quickly try to hide his homesickness to fling around her loud comments about everything he knows (or large cases thinks he knows) about the artist.
(Cf: Trønder with pipe voice that was behind me on Lars Winnerbäck the Chameleon)
- - Thread of excited teenagers (or feel too adult) who clearly has been on the afterparty where they have played the most famous album of the artist they are in concert.
Even before the concert sing along on the biggest hit, and hollering and shouting loud enough to drown out the premises stereo.
- - The slightly sleazy guy who has decided to check up on her nice lady from vorspiel, often combining several of the above. Full oblique treatment of the most famous hit, attempts at obscuring, loud explanations of texts during guitar solos, and ... yes, most people have probably seen the point.
If you are near any of these people, do your utmost to trade places ...
Mary Gauthier said it looked fine when she played at the Garage, and the full ladies on the table before going on stage LOUD that they might hear each other.
Ms. Gauthier leaned out over the edge of the stage and yelled to the most loud lady:
"HEY LADY!! Why do not you try two SHUT UP!! "
The applause seemed endless, and it was quiet from the edge the rest of the concert.
Do you feel hit by any of this?
Imagine in that case one more time next time you go on a relatively acoustic concert ... choose either a local Death Metal band.
Your behavior has proven that the matter is not in concert for the texts their part ... and you manage to block a Death Metal band then you're probably in the right place at the right time anyway.
(Previously published in nrk.no / menswear)